Lies

只有无奈。
又被甜言蜜语，蒙骗了。
哈哈。真的很可笑。
我的耳根子，还是这么软。

所有的，都是假的。没有了。
就在一夜里，没有了。
像烟火，又在一瞬间，什么都没有了。

曾经告诉自己的。要坚强，不可以落泪。








可是，







我哭了，哭几次了。



情绪，还是有的，就让我哭一哭吧。



你先开始的，你再把它结束。很公平，很合理，不是吗？
那我为什么要感到伤心？
你已经带我带到团团转的，但是因为向心力的原理，
你放开了手，我就飞得远远的，回不来了。
那很好啊，没有了一个小狗，缠着你不放，
对你来说，是很好的。

那我呢？
你曾经对我做的，对我说的，
是什么意思？
是为了什么？
为了伤害一个人？？过一过瘾？
这是我不能接受的。
如果当初，你坦白的说，坦白的表示，
另一方就不会遍体鳞伤。
 
你删了我的评论，我是真的真的很痛心你知道吗？
痛到，哑口无言。
真的，无言。
我都不知道你为什么要这样做？
我得罪了你什么？
我做了什么，促使让你利用无声的对待？？？！
 我真的不明白？甚至无法理解。

我很矛盾，我只能在这里发泄。
我很想删除你的信息，你的联络号码，你的所有一切。
但是此时此刻，我真的做不到。我不知道。
我讨厌你。真的只能用恨来形容。
我不想这样，但是情况让我变成了这样。
我不知道该怎么做，我现在真的像疯了似的。
又哭，又停，又气，又笑自己笨。
我不知道要怎么做。

曾经所做的一切，就这样，无声无息的，停止了吗？
我要一个答案。就算是一个‘对不起’也好。
我只要接受了，明白了，哭一哭，就过了。
但是，你都不管，你完全没有解释。
就这样，一次在一次的相信你所有的谎言。

就如图片叙述的，最终，你闷了，你离开了。
这么简单。
你满意了吗？
一个在职场上可以堂堂正正，充满自信心的人，
到了感情这一块。，就只能用一塌糊涂来形容。
一塌糊涂！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

好了，够了。
到此结束吧。
张添良，说好了，结束就是结束了。
你说过的，当你抛球的时候，另一个人没有抛回来的时候，
就是时候放弃了。
就是这么简单。
再多的解释和答案，只会让心情更复杂。
挥一挥袖，不带走一片云彩，不是更加潇洒，你的风范吗？
好不好？
不要有恨，不要再多手去观察别人的动静。
好奇心是要用在对的地方。懂不懂？

够了。。。。

和你的感觉

复杂，不知道和你一起，真正的感觉是什么？
很乱，但乱中有序。

喜欢你的捉摸不定，讨厌你的捉摸不定。
喜欢你冷酷的性格，讨厌你冷酷的性格。
喜欢你有所保留的神秘，讨厌你有所保留的神秘。
喜欢你的成熟稳重，讨厌你的成熟稳重。

谈到感情，我不敢保证。
但我清楚我是真实的。
我恳求，你得也一样。

我求，
我祈祷，
我希望，
我盼望，

我只要那一天的到来，
那一天，你可以开口问我：
“你愿意留在我身旁吗？”

First Time

Dear Diary,

First time heading to Singapore alone, with a mission
First time getting a Singapore mobile number
First time finding my way to a cafe without any maps, just by a message
First time meeting different people in such a small country
First time riding on a bike, roaming around Singapore streets
First time visiting a meaningful art exhibition in the middle of nowhere
First time having such beautiful inspirations in a day and overwhelmed with emotions
First time being so comfortable with a stranger
First time having so many first times with you
First time falling in this good ol' fashioned love.

Enjoying
Embracing
Lovin' it.

Displacements

Not sure what's the meaning as I wiki-ed this word, there are a lot of definitions and most of them are quite complex, which I do not want to further discuss anymore.

As we know,
Replace is to place something on a same spot that something had been removed
Misplace is we forgot where is that something had gone.
But displace.... sounds weird. But it has a great meaning and a story behind this art exhibition.

On 8/6/2013, I went to this exhibition in Singapore, at Mount Sophia.
A mansion called the Wilkie Terrace is going to tear down soon for future development projects. Therefore, 16 artists were there to display some artwork that able to shout the message of embracing new cultures while still remembering the original ones, in terms of geographical or historical.

It has a very meaningful story or message behind this exhibition. It is also a great scene to see artists gather around, standing on the same line to shout the message to the public. To this point, what really moves me is, I really feel that Art is alive.

Though Im not an expert to really understand all the messages from the artwork. But I like one of the artist using Red Beans (Saga Beans 相思豆)  to create a potrait of a snake. Snake might be resemblance of the Snake year this year and the beans are all marked with numbers. According to the description, the numbers are all represented by a story behind. There were a lot of beans and it is meant to take one and pass it down. To connect the memories for all generations.

The volunteers are very friendly. They have a merchandise area where a lot of antique is selling at a donation price. I got myself a crystal-like shaped candle lamp. Its super antique and according to one of the volunteer, the lamp was from Italy and was traded during the journey on Silk Road.

I love this visit, I love the people, I love the artwork, I love the spirit.  

就这样....

就这样，在上一篇按了 Publish 之后，
电话简讯铃声就响了。







冒冷汗。





根本不想去看，关了电脑就准备睡了。
辗转难眠，还是觉得珍惜当下会比较好。
所以打开手机一看，正是他传的简讯。


老天爷，好了啦。你真的是看戏看得很爽对吧？
如果我的戏真的那么好看，就请你颁一个最佳男主角奖项给我。
好让我不白费力气，一直跟着你的剧本走。

所以我们又开始聊天了。
这次我来得更凶。 直接问了他我一直要问的问题。

他对我的感觉。


鼓起勇气，告诉了他我真的很想知道答案。
回头看一看自己，其实自己只能用两个贴切的词语形容 -  饥渴

哭笑不得啊！你竟然做出这种事情。
也真的是幸亏，上天给的是好运。得到了我要的答案。
也让我欣慰了好几天。
不仅还是得说：感恩，感恩！

对他有更深的了解了。很好吧。
不知道。觉得会比较安心。实在。
反正安全感对我来说，就是那么的重要。
问个水落石出，岂不是更好吗？

所以不必想那么多了。还是老话一句，顺其自然。
反正彼此都没有足够的时间给于对方，那就等待吧。
只希望这次能开花结果咯！
祈祷。

亲爱的树洞

S.H.E 亲爱的树洞音乐录影带终于出了。这张专辑最爱的一首歌。

树洞，来自西方文化。故事里总会有一些主角，会对树洞倾诉心里最深的话。
你就是我的树洞啦！

又跑回来写一些东西。
上次不是有点为情所扰的吗？现在还是。哈哈！
本以为事情走到了比较正面的一步。但没想到，还是不怎么刺激。

我们见面了。

很自然的一个分享。短短的一小时半，也知道了一些东西。
也说出了一些东西。
永远不会忘记，我第一次这样面对面的跟他聊天。

之前已经有好几次想要放弃的时候，老天爷就是一直还在给我希望。
都不知道是不是好的，还是坏的。还是闹着我玩的？
总之，老样子，抱着顺其自然的心态，去迎接下一个惊喜。
反正既然是那么辛苦，那，就不要把它看得太重不就好了。
你还是拼事业吧。梦想和未来，是真的比一切还要重要。

看到朋友也为孤单，而烦恼。自己也跟着怕了。
没有一个人想要孤单一辈子。再坚强，再好胜，再贴心肠也好，人是用皮肉做成的
浓浓的热血，流着的是七情六欲。喜怒哀乐都在里头。
不过，怎样都好，明天就是会更好。
专注眼前所要的，继续努力。

一个朋友说得对，如果我没有停止上一段摇摆不定的感情，
今天也不会有这样的成就。
可能，我还会是那个懦弱无能的小男孩。

如今，事业一步一步上了轨道，真的是一个良机。
一定得好好把握！

除了这些，最近也是有点 whatever with 很多事情。
就觉得，别人要怎么去想，我真的不想理。最重要我要做好自己的本分。
你可以选择不相信，我是很坚强的。
但是，我就是那么的坚强。

夏日慢慢逼近，还是不要那么想不开啦！
随着烈日，一起闪耀吧！

I just need to rant

Ok. I really can't do it anymore. (For this moment of time)
Im totally into this person and I do not know what to do.

Dear Diary,

Yes, I understand that he is busy but waiting for his messages is killing me.
Yes, I understand I am a very very very understanding friend or a partner to not message each other every moment but sometimes I really don't know why but feeling itching all over.
Yes, I understand I hope I could make him happy everyday with some creative texts but I do not wanna be too obvious or let it out so easily because I do not wanna get hurt and I also do not know how people think of me.
Yes, I understand we haven't met each other yet and I can't be so into this person all of a sudden but I just can't help it and I do not know how to face it!

That's why I need to rant. Aaaarggghhhh!!!
It's been a long while to have this kind of issues in myself which is not good for myself.
I mean, Im not gonna put expectations because I totally do not want disappointments.
Seriously, I mean it.

Sometimes I really feel like saying, hey dude, I really like you and hope you like me as well if not please tell me, or else we don't waste each other's time blah blah blah.
But DUH!!! This is so not me! and from the other side of my inner voice will be saying: HELLO!! Do you think you are so attractive to say all these kind of things and what? Why can't it be a simple friendship?! Why must you think until that extend?!

So, ya.

Why relationships always make feelings topsy-turvy or just that I think too much? Take things to seriously?
Put myself to into it? Ah! Its the same, or Whatever!
Especially when are really connected to it and suddenly losing communication again because of a lot of external factors. Life seriously playing hard on us! Over here I mean everybody.
Hate myself stranded in this situation, hate hate hate. But I like this person. Then HOOOOWWWWW?!?!?!

Anyways, just back to normal. Not to think too much. As I always say, I want to let things move smoothly and follow the flow. Do not force something to happen. When this candy is yours, you can have every bite of it. If its not, then just leave it to the ants.

Ok?

But I want it. Ok... Goodnight diary.

Enjoying Life

Dear Diary,

Today was a long day in the office (6/3/2013). We had a full day of meetings.

1st. Event Meeting
2nd. Merchandise Meeting
3rd. Minor Operations Meeting

Something struck my mind when my superior told me this.
"You are a person always seeking a balance in life. For work, you are a person that able to deliver, willing to deliver, but in the same time will want to have the balance to enjoy life as well."

Indeed....a true statement.
From the horoscope point of view (Yes, Im a horoscope freak), Im a Libra. Therefore, continuously seeking for balance in everything is the compulsory task in my life, which can be seen in both positive & negative ways. (laughs)

This actually made me curious about the things that I had done and I went to find out by flipping pictures or phrases that I posted on Facebook & Instagram etc. all whatever social media that I had.
As I look through all the pictures, there are actually a few things that made my life interesting

1st of all, Food.
Seriously I don't even know why I took so many food pictures and I don't really know much about Food.
Honestly, my mum is not a good cook but a simple one. Not superb skills but able to whipped a few dishes for the family and its already good enough.
Therefore, Im easily appreciated by nice dining, especially very nicely presented ones.
 I need to take a picture to recommend, or remember this moment, that I had something good before.

2nd, Travelling
I have a lot of traveling pictures, not only abroad but in my home country as well, wherever I go, I just like to take pictures as remembrance.
I always think that, there will be something to learn from that journey. Whether it's good or bad, it's a learning experience to know more about a different place and a different culture with different people.

3rd Friends
I have many friends. I adore the times to be together with them. No specific ones because I just love everyone and the moment shared.
Some friends are able to pick up my interpretation of the term of "Friends", but some don't.
Too bad for them, and they just need to know the world doesn't work like a manufacturing factory that only does duplications.
So. Ya.

Lastly, Gifts!
Haha! Gifts or souvenirs are my favourite things in the whole wide world. Appreciate their effort and the thought to give you something when your friends or family are at somewhere else. Appreciate it a lot.

There are so many things that I could be happy with and share. I hope everyone around me will be able to see this point, and be happy. Enjoy every single moment in your life...

With love...

Nightingale's Lullaby

Dear Diary,

I created a playlist in my iTunes, and its called Nightingale's lullaby.
A list of songs to help me get a better sleep.

Too many thoughts been around my head recently,
which is......quite often as well.

Flipping through some messages and thought,
Why are there such people just able to let things go so easily.
Especially relationships.
But I should asked myself. I did it before too. (chuckles)
- Relationship here doesn't mean only love. Its just a connection between me and that party -

So anyways, I tried, and I tried the 2nd attempt. But cold showers in return.
Similar to the people that I treated.
Just retribution maybe, nothing serious.
Just lie down, close my eyes, sleep and forget. Easy Peezy!


This is just the cause of letting out so easily.
Why am I not positive when comes to relationships. I really can't.
Lack of confidence? Im not sure. But I just.... can't.

Alright. Last song for tonight. If I Ain't Got You, Alicia Keys.

Goodnight Diary.

鼻酸

世上有几首情歌，是会让人感触很深的？
无数。

在这里，想要分享一首耳熟能响的情歌， My Love。
施人诚填词，郑楠的曲，由Martin Tang编曲
田馥甄演唱。

自2011年以来，发表后，相信歌迷们都很爱这首主打歌。
很完美的呈现了田馥甄的歌声，甚至表现了她声音的扩张力，
当每个人在风靡韩流，偶像派歌手，嘻哈摇滚乐团，的时候
在中文新生代音乐市场里，已经很难找到这样的音乐风格，和作品。

音乐在我的生活里占了一个很大的部分。喜欢的歌曲，多半是因为优美的词句所影响。
如果配上极佳的音乐，那就是完美地结合了。

这首歌就是有个我这样的感觉。

My Love，讲述了每个人，在寻找爱情的路途，以及找到了真爱之后的写照。
迷茫的人海中，每个人都是一个个体。情，则是把两个有感情的个体，联系在一起。
变成了爱情。

爱情在现实生活中，扮演了很重要的角色。没有爱情，这个世界不会有色彩。
你可以用很多不同的形容词去解释 爱
因为，爱，就是一个这么复杂的东西。
不管是褒，是贬，要不是因为爱，人与人之间，也不会有任何的互动。

从没有爱，到爱上了，然后可能经历了一些风雨，失散了。
之后，在伤心的汪洋中，一双手，再把你接了过来，又在产生了爱。
这样的模式，在我们的身边，不停的运转，不是吗？

那 ... ... 你累了吗？
有的时候，真的很无奈。伤心。甚至是失望。
歌词写了一段，再伤心失落的时候，还是要正面的去解读它。
那个缘分中的她/他， 是一场美丽的等候。
人人不是常说吗，Good things, are always worth to wait。
因此，我们都一定要经过所有的曲折路口，
才知道，爱是什么。

My Love，乍听之下，是有些的伤悲。
但如果真的去理解歌词的意境，在缓慢的前奏，慢慢的升华，
澎湃的旋律，是可以感受到，
其实， 爱 ，也不是我们想象的那么伤感。
就是等了，伤了，痛了，坚强了，学习了，最终，还是会找到幸福的。

每次旋律开始在脑海转荡的时候，
鼻子就是会酸一下。
老实说，无奈和伤心，真的是会有的。
空荡荡的身边，有时候真的还是会渴望一个人让我依靠。
一直在想，自己是不是不够好，是不是不讨人喜欢
是不是真的终身寂寞，而且也有点害怕。
每次美丽的相遇，好像烟火一样，持续不久，就只美在那一刻。

但是，寻求真爱，也并非简单。
歌曲的正面力量，是感受到了。

不管如此，都是要相信这世界的力量，自己的力量。
因为，
爱会来的，在对的时候。

歌词：
如果你被她傷得很痛
請感謝她好心折磨
如果你對她感到愧疚
請感謝她慷慨淚流


If you have been hurt deeply by her/him, please thank her/him for the torment
If you feel regretful towards her/him, please thank her/him for the tears she cried

在我們相遇相愛之前  多虧有她讓你成熟
Before we had met and loved, it's good that he/she made you matured

如果你現在孤獨寂寞
請感謝這美麗等候
如果你還在為愛犯錯
請感謝還沒找到我

If you are lonely and alone right now, please be thankful for this beautiful wait
If you are still making mistakes in love, please be thankful that you haven't found me yet

要走完每個曲折路口  我們才懂愛是什麼
We have to walk through every winding road till we understand what love is

如果慶幸我值得擁有
請感謝我被放棄過
如果欣賞我堅強溫柔
請感謝那珍貴傷口

If you are grateful that I'm worthy having, please be thankful that someone abandoned me once
If you admire my strength and tenderness, please be thankful for those precious wounds

在我們相遇相愛之後  遺憾都會變成收穫
After we had met and loved, the regrets turned into a lesson learned

等我們終於緊緊相擁
所有苦難會甜美結果
我們就耐心漂流
愛會來的在對的時候

When we finally can tightly embrace each other, all of the suffering will bring forth happy endings
Let's just patiently drift for now because love will come at the right moment

Happy Lunar New Year of Snake 2013

 It was a simple year. Looking through what had happened, only makes me become Better, Stronger and Wiser. Stepped into the 2nd quarter or should I say 2nd half segment of my life, there are much more things for me to achieve. Therefore, always keep on noting myself on what I am doing, and keep on striving for good! Happy Lunar New Year! Lets slide and glide smoothly in this Year 2013 of Snake!

听说，爱情回来过

你有这样的经验吗？
爱情，在你身边擦肩而过。

我有，而且很多。
多半的原因，都出在自己的身上。
傲慢，要求，期望，胆怯。

有很多的期望和要求，变得名单列表的人就越来越少。
看上眼的人，又不踏出第一步。
换个角度想想，自己也不是什么名媛，
还是把傲慢收起来。

近期，我已经变得有点不是自己。
可以说是好的改变，但是有的时候，认不清楚镜子里的自己
又有点不好受。

好的改变，我开始放开一点点地心胸，去感受世界。
得来的有时候还是不是想要的，但至少，现在脸皮比较厚，
知道怎么样取舍，以及应变。

那。。。。偶尔还真的是会伤心的。
当答案不是自己要的，是人，都会感到无奈，失望。

最近看到一句话写得不错
以为爱情再度回来敲门，原来，只是寂寞回来找我。

失望的次数，真的有很多。
想想自己也婉拒了不少人，就当作是代价吧

谈到爱情，真的要和自己大声地说：
勇敢的去爱吧！踏出第一步，又不用给钱，又不会少一块肉，也不会要我的命。
怕什么？

是不是？
所以，爱就对了。