I just need to rant

Ok. I really can't do it anymore. (For this moment of time)
Im totally into this person and I do not know what to do.

Dear Diary,

Yes, I understand that he is busy but waiting for his messages is killing me.
Yes, I understand I am a very very very understanding friend or a partner to not message each other every moment but sometimes I really don't know why but feeling itching all over.
Yes, I understand I hope I could make him happy everyday with some creative texts but I do not wanna be too obvious or let it out so easily because I do not wanna get hurt and I also do not know how people think of me.
Yes, I understand we haven't met each other yet and I can't be so into this person all of a sudden but I just can't help it and I do not know how to face it!

That's why I need to rant. Aaaarggghhhh!!!
It's been a long while to have this kind of issues in myself which is not good for myself.
I mean, Im not gonna put expectations because I totally do not want disappointments.
Seriously, I mean it.

Sometimes I really feel like saying, hey dude, I really like you and hope you like me as well if not please tell me, or else we don't waste each other's time blah blah blah.
But DUH!!! This is so not me! and from the other side of my inner voice will be saying: HELLO!! Do you think you are so attractive to say all these kind of things and what? Why can't it be a simple friendship?! Why must you think until that extend?!

So, ya.

Why relationships always make feelings topsy-turvy or just that I think too much? Take things to seriously?
Put myself to into it? Ah! Its the same, or Whatever!
Especially when are really connected to it and suddenly losing communication again because of a lot of external factors. Life seriously playing hard on us! Over here I mean everybody.
Hate myself stranded in this situation, hate hate hate. But I like this person. Then HOOOOWWWWW?!?!?!

Anyways, just back to normal. Not to think too much. As I always say, I want to let things move smoothly and follow the flow. Do not force something to happen. When this candy is yours, you can have every bite of it. If its not, then just leave it to the ants.

Ok?

But I want it. Ok... Goodnight diary.