Yesterday, I was so happy that I finish all my assignments and i told myself Im officially RELEASED!!!!!! I did all the references and when i finished is about 2 o clock in the morning...
Actually im quite happy and satisfied that i can cope with this last assignment which the lecturer told us that it is VERY DIFFICULT! Then i told mysef, Yes, tommorrow i will let the lecturer have a look on my work just to make sure my essay is correct.
AT LAST! WRONG DECISION!
My approach is wrong and some of my points i need to change again.
OK! yes im wrong! Im not in the right track because im stupid. I do not have a journalist brain and im too proud of myself. Indeed, this assignment is VERY DIFFICULT!
But why am i so stupid go and make this decision to go and see the lecturer!
I know the lecturer willing to see us is for our good! I appreciate the lecturer's kindness
But im blaming myself now....IM BLAMING MYSELF NOW!
This makes me more confused and more and more and more CONFUSED!!!!!
I have the points in my mind and all of the sudden, everything just changed drastically and i need to turn my brain upside down to pour all the things out of my mind!!
I know i failed my first assignment! I know my 2nd Assignment and 3rd Assignment is not really well also! Until now, i need 10.1 marks more to pass this whole subject.
If this assignment, i get 2 marks for each section, i alr got 12 marks. Although i failed this assignment But it dont actually affects a lot!
So that means...I can Pass lo??!!
Then what is wrong with my legs!!!!! So stupid to go and see the lecturer and get all these frustrations??!!! But this is Super Super contradicting!
What if.......12 marks also i cant get?.....
Then i will fail this subject and i have to retake this subject next semester again
And THIS IS A JOURNALISM SUBJECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
I HATE JOURNALISM
I HATE JOURNALISM
I HATE JOURNALISM
I HATE JOURNALISM
I DO NOT WANT TO BE A JOURNALIST!
DID I SAY I WANT TO BE A JOURNALIST!
I DID NOT SAY I WANT TO BE A JOURNALIST!
SO WHAT??! IF IM STUDYING MASS COMMUNICATION!
I WANT TO STUDY RADIO BROADCASTING!
I WANT TO BE A DJ!
I WANT TO STUDY FILM AND PRODUCTION!
I WANT TO BE AN ACTOR, A CAMERAMAN, I WANT TO BE A HOST!
I WANT TO RUN HERE AND THERE ORGANISING EVENTS!
I WANT TO BE AN EVENT MANAGER!!!!!!!!!!!!
IF IM GOING TO REBORN TO THIS WORLD AS A HUMAN AGAIN!
I FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER WILL NOT BE A JOURNALIST!!!!!!!!
JUST LET THE PEOPLE THAT HAS GENIUS BRAINS AND LOTS OF ARGUMENTS AND HAVE THE TOLERATION TO BE A JOURNALIST
ESPECIALLY THE CONTRADICTIONS OF JOURNALSM ETHICS!!!!!!!!!
BE AN ETHICAL JOURNALIST VERY HARD MEH!!!??
JUST BE ETHICAL LA! THATS ALL!!!!
WHY THERE IS SO MANY GREY AREAS BUT NOT ONLY BLACK OR ONLY WHITE!
TAYLOR'S UNIVERSITY SCHOOL MALAYSIA!!!!
I DO NOT WANT YOUR JOURNALISM SUBJECTS!!!!!
PLS DO NOT GIVE ME JOURNALSIM SUBJECTS ANYMORE!!!
THEY ARE SERIOUSLY HAUNTING ME!!!!
I ONLY READ THE ENTERTAINMENT IN NEWSPAPERS! I ONLY READ THE LEISURE PART IN THE NEWSPAPERS!!!!
I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS POLITICS!!!
Yes! WRONG DECISION AGAIN!
I chose the wrong school and I regretted it!!!!!
I REALLY SERIOUSLY REGRETTED IT!
I regret because i know it is my fault.
MY FAULT OK??!! IM BLAMING MYSELF!
I did not do a good research on schools and i just blindly think what i think! What if I chose a better school and have a better environment or even studying what I really want?!
That would be very good!! Apart from these Journalistic subjects! I am willing to run up and down, carrying heavy cameras, lights, equipments, or meeting people, organising activities, boost up my courage, confidence! Burning the midnight oil to memorise things for exams
RATHER THAN
sitting down in front of the laptop, with the fan or air-cond, KILLING MY BRAIN CELLS, STRAINING MY EYES TO DO RESEARCH ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN! writing some blooddy essays!!!! Ranging from 1500 words to 2500 words!
OKLah! to be fair, maybe one or two essays! BUT NOT ALL OF MY ASSIGNMENTS!!!!
The grass is always greener on the other side~
I know im jealous that some of my friends in Taiwan or other countries studying the same course as me but has more fun than me.
I know my thinking is not matured!
I know I came here, i knew lots of good friends!
I know I came here, I learnt my STUPIDITY!
Now, Shut YOUR STUPID MOUTH UP!
and back to ur LAST JOURNALISTIC ASSIGNMENT
Then u will be released and fly to U.S happily...
Im now contradicting myself again....Help....
Depression....I want to cry! But I know crying does not help......
[...MEOW!!!!!!GRRRR!!!!!...]
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
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4 comments:
Oh poor tian liang, so stress...but it's a good way to release your stress here, are you feeling better right now? hope you're on a better way in your assign. I don't know, isn't that lecturer helped you modifying your reports better? or he just simply tease you? I hope not. At least he is willing to guide you...actually not too sure about your situation, so...anywhere, change it to make it better rather than insisting that the wrong one is the right one ^^ Cheers!!! the more you paid, the more you get, and happier when you really get through it, GAMBATEH!!! Miao~ Anywhere, about taylors...erm, have you do research about other Uni programme? I just learnt this from my friend "You lose sth but at the same time you get sth" you get what I mean? may be now you think this is the wrong decision and keep regreting, but what if you were rebourn and choose another one? Are you sure you are not going to regret and make the right choices all the time? Impossible right~ so try to think more positive sites^^ especially when you are down....WAHAHA~ I said it so easily, hope next time I can cope with it if I stuck in a same situation ^^ all the best!
OMG!!!!
Rabby! Thanks a lot!!!!!!!!
The lecturer is very good wan..She really helps us a lot. It juz I cant cope with the subject well
Yes....thanks for ur encouragements..
I appreciate it...
Yes i know what you mean:
You lose sth but at the same time you get sth..
Yes, i did think about it before..
But sometimes when stress comes so suddenly...I will be quite lost for a while...I feel better now..thanks for ur concern..
我想我是唯一破壞你blog的美感的人，
哈哈哈，因爲只有我在打中文，
倫理（ethic)真的是一個很難念的科目，
不懂什麽才是對的，
rabby說得對，blog真是一個好地方，
可以抒發情感，可以發洩，哈哈哈，
我的blog被我弄到一團糟，哈哈哈。。。
進化當中，哈哈哈
加油哦！！！你已經很厲害了，
想到我還在寫中文報告，你已經可以用英文寫出頭頭是道報告就超羡慕的，
考慮一下我接下來的blog要不要用英文寫。
記得哦，到了美國要給我地址哦！！！
Thanks Ongting!
Nola! Wat do u mean po huai!
Type mandarn is not wrong la!
Haha
Yes...ethics is confusing....haiz..
Juz hope i will pass...
Pray for me bah!
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