UN-Sleepable 不眠

Its not the 1st time that I couldn't fall asleep even though is such a late hour right now, and Im gonna wake up tomorrow for work. But still, I couldn't...

My eyes are still wide open and many thoughts roaming around, on top of my head.
I can see them....
Kind of tired, very tired. But I still can't let myself rest properly..

I figured why?
Maybe Im stressed, or maybe....there are too many things that I have to take care of?
Maybe he is not beside me, and maybe these are the pre-aging symptoms...?!? ROFL!

Aarggghhhh...I just can't sleep.....

Yup, stress is a DEFINITELY YES! =)
Hohohohoho! Stress always comes along with work.
You have work to do and stress eventually comes along~ Wheeeee!
Kind of agree what my ex-boss said:
The higher pay you get, the more stress you will have to face.
And, taadaaaaa....Its true~
So...yes, Im QUITE satisfy with my *ahem* pay, therefore,


I, Need To, Perform.
Smile...Smile...Smile...
At least Im still enjoying it.
Just that the worst part is still facing the superiors.
Target, Target, Target!! SALES~~~~~
Hmmm, sometimes I feel like Im a marketing practitioner.
Squeeze our brain juice to make into sales plans and strategies...

Ohya! and I almost forgot, Im a SALESPERSON...
So obviously, I need to do sales, if not how can I get commission?!
Right? =D

21st of January, you left the country.
I am fine of course. Even though IF I am not but I am still okay~
Haha, despite that I wept on the bus during the way back home from the airport.
Can't believe I missed you so much.
Its only 10 days passed and I....really, Miss You...Yes I do.
It's difficult to forget that 52 happy & memorable days you gave to me...
I finally had this magical feeling....like what I used to see in the fairytale stories..*giggles*
What I used to....wish, I have this day....


Been longing since the day I understand about LOVE.
Sincerely hope that this is the last for both of us.
But again, the future is unpredictable, so.....I pray, I pray for the BEST. Ok? =*

My future,
Looking through gazillions and billions and millions and thousands and hundreds of people.
I don't think Im the only one that concern about my own future.
23 years old in this year 2011.


Wow!!! *OPEN EYES*
OMG! You are such an OLD MAN!
GOSH and I can't believe is true.
Yeeeeeyerrrr, seems like I had wasted these 22 years.
I didn't do anything epic, such as saving the world, won a Nobel Prize, became a YouTube sensation, or break a Guinness record.
What I left is debts, debts, debts and DEBTS...
Aiyah~ Should I think these much? Or....this is WAY too over?
Yes yes, yes it is. I think shall set *another unachievable* target then =)
Inner-self: POSITIVITY!!!!! Hellllllloooooooo~~~~
Me: Okay, okay, Fine! Positive vibes!!! Take a deep~~~~ breath *meditates*....

So, me is gonna ROCK the world before the last day of earth comes.
Earn as much money as I can and ENJOY LIFE!!!!
Travel across countries...Me is going Kangaroo Land this year!
Heeeheeee, and I say it, and I WILL!
Next year, UK!!! *prays harder*


Look at myself in the mirror. Wooo! Wrinkles! Haha
But you are more charming now, Looking Good! Felix....
A new year, ANOTHER new start... Yeah!!

My Liver says: "Its 2am now and stop this, go to bed!"

I wanna Hold Your Hand...

Missing your kiss,
Missing your smiley eyes.
Missing the dreamy voice beside my ears,
Missing the familiar scent,
Missing the heartbeat,
Missing the palm I used to hold on.

Although we are miles apart,
Im still thinking of you everyday...

天天好天 Great Day

看了这部电影好久了，现在才来讲评。
可见我真的好久没上来了。
大马全新制作，继《大日子》后，另一部本土电影，《天天好天》

看了之后，和朋友分享，听到了许许多多不同的评语。
果然我的感觉没有错。
还蛮多人的同感就是，这一部和《大日子》相比就逊色了些。
我没看过《大日子》，所以我觉得这一部其实还不错。
很值得去看的一部电影。
不过就是有些小小的不过瘾，觉得这部电影好像少了些什么。
可能就像《大日子》的粉丝所感觉的吧。

电影把马来西亚美丽的乡村区，拍得很漂亮，
也把马来西亚的文化，呈现的完美无瑕。
我们那一口不标准，不正统，混合式的华语，听起来还真的是刻骨民心。
还有我们那华文小学严苛的教育方式，看了还真的是回味无穷。
想当年，也是这样被培育出来的，
而且，就这样也创造了无数的人才。

故事以第三者的角度（爸爸和儿子），延伸出了不同的小故事。
孩子和父母的故事，孙女和爷爷的感情，没有子孙的孤单老人，失去父亲的儿子等等。
所有的剧情都牵涉了亲情。真的好感动。
偏偏亲情就是最赚人泪水的，所以整部电影，差不多在45分钟后，
我的脸颊，眼眶，都是湿的.... TT

好伤心哦~
戏里有一句话说得很真实。
小女孩：“Mummy，我们几时去看爷爷，我想去看他。”
妈妈：“好好好，我们每年都去一次，好不好？”
小女孩：“Mummy，人可以活到几岁？”
妈妈：“嗯..大概七八十岁咯”
小女孩：“哦，那爷爷今年七十岁，那不是还剩十年咯，那我不是只能看到爷爷十次？”

说到这里，我整个人就是不能再忍了，便嚎啕大哭！
想到自己，每一年也是才会去看婆婆，外婆一次，真的是少之又少。唉~

人，都是会离开这世界的。
我们能做的，就只能珍惜每一分每一秒，不能让它白过。
时间不留人，有时我真的觉得它快得有点离谱。
就连过一个斑马线，限时只有十秒，
从一边，走到另一边，如果用普通走路的步伐，
真的不够。甚至差不多要到的时候，好要用跑的，不然就被车撞死！

试想想，只是过一条马路，10秒就这样没有了，要回流都不能。
在你想着要倒转时间时，它又向前走了5秒...不停地走，不停地走...

珍惜身边彼此来来往往的人，尤其是亲人。没有他们，就不会有你我，的存在...

New Year's Eve

Hey there peeps!
Its New Year's Eve today.
The last day of Year 2010
Forget about how fast time had passed,
Let's cherish what we had this year.
Let's rejoice the happiness with each & everyone.
Let's remember the love ones that left us.
Let's bless each other all the best in everything.
Let's set goals & make a wish for a the new year ahead.
Let's welcome the new days in the future.
Happy New Year!

p/s: Start thinking my new year resolution!!

Merry Christmas 2010

My Christmas Outfit for 2010.

Favourite season of the year. Its Christmas.
Longing for this day since 11 months and 25 days ago.
In this season of Love & Joy,
I would love to wish everybody a Merry Christmas.
May Happiness tags along everybody.
Merry Christmas to Family <3
Merry Christmas to Friends <3
Merry Christmas to Darling <3

Prayers for Bobby

Outstanding Movie. Superbly Great!
Based on a true story. From a book written by Leroy F. Aarons.
A story about a gay man who committed suicide because of his sexual orientation and intolerance from her homophobic religious mother and the community.
The movie is impactful, easily engaged by the audience. It wrapped up all the important contents in 1 and a half hour. Showing how scary it is to feel unaccepted, rejected and alone. Importance of family bonding, truthful to your love ones. And of course, what is love?

Im glad I watched the movie with you.
Thanks for wiping the tears away.
xoxo,
Felix

Fiction: A Christmas Carol

You told me you were out of town.

I sat alone in my room after work, doing some usual chores. Clicking on my mouse, browsing webpages on my computer. Nothing special for the empty night. Facebook, Twitter, Plurk seems a little boring today. I stumbled upon the phrase I posted few days before.

Growing up has covered the magic with a veil...we all forgot how we believed in Santa when we were young.

I tuned in some Christmas Carols to create a joyful, merry ambiance. Following the melody & sing with the lyrics. Have yourself....A Merry...Little Christmas...
Flipped through messages of you and me, the last one in my mailbox from you was:
'How I wish I can make you some warm energetic drinks everytime you work'

Indeed , I miss you so much. Hoping to see you everytime after work. To feel the emptiness, I indulged myself with the thick sweetness of Max Brenner's milk chocolate. It melted on the tip of my tongue and ends with a crunch of waffle crisp. Crunch!

My phone rang! The other side on the line were you. As usual, we tucked each other in bed by words & kiss each other goodnight. Felt not so real but at least, there's still a spark...

Before going to bed alone, I chatted with one of my best friends on the chatbox. Something unpleasant happened and I want to be there to comfort my friend. So we chatted, we laughed. It passed midnight and reached 1:30am on the clock.

My phone ranged again. On the screen was from my dearest you. I picked up the phone and giggled: "You caught me! I am still up!" We chatted for a while and this time is real, I have to go to bed. The clock struck the last quarter of the hour and I said goodbye to my friend then runs to my bed as if you were waiting for me...

This time, my phone beeped:
"Hey, I've got a surprise. Can you wait for 15 minutes? You can wait on the bed coz something is gonna happen soon" -You

My lips curved and I thought:
That's a little creepy, but I can't wait to see it. What will it be? My feelings were all messed up and I couldn't close my eyes. The 15 minutes is like 15 days and I waited impatiently.

After 15 minutes, my phone beeped again. It says:
"Still believe in Santa? Check your front door and you 'll get what you wanted." - You
I covered my mouth from over excited screaming and walked myself to the front wooden door. It's heavier than usual and I slowly peeped from the gap when I opened it. It's a bag. Hanging at the outside gate.

Inside the bag was a purple sweater you wore last time which I told you I loved it so much. I was sad because I thought you will be the present that Santa gave. But Santa gave something from your past...

I called you and questioned impatiently:" Where are you? Why is this here? What happened?"
You grinned and said nothing but asked me to wait again.

My heartbeat was running really fast and you left me hanging on in the middle of the night. I paced around in my room then sat on the bed, holding the sweater and read your message again.

The phone beeped for the 3rd time.
"Present present's here" - You

I quickly ran to the door but still open it cautiously. My heart shrank again because it wasn't you. But I saw the thick frame glasses I chose for you on top of a singlet with your signature scent on it. I can feel that you are really near. I tip toed and looked at the corridor anxiously, hoping that you will pop out somewhere and I rather to be scared than waiting you for ages. I quickly message you saying that Santa made a mistake, I want the whole present but not only part of it.

Then you returned a message again:
"Follow him to the dark...." - You

All of a sudden, the melody of a song from Death Cab for Cutie, I will Follow you into the Dark rises from the far end of the corridor. I can't get it at first, but slowly found this familiar tune.

"If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
I'll follow you into the dark"

Middle of the night, its windy and chilly. I was so excited. Mixed feelings all in one. Should I walk out? Or shouldn't I? What if there are more surprises? What if I see something that wasn't what I expected? What if I see you...

I stepped outside the door, barefooted. Slowly followed the music along the corridor. Chilly winds raised a few strands of my hair. I hold my mobile phone very tight and my heartbeat is still racing. The music is approaching whenever I stepped ahead, nearer...and nearer.

Slowly I reached the end, and I saw you squatting down the floor gave me a smile. You were wearing the same sweater you bought for me but in black colour. You stood up and gave me a teddy-bear hug. You whispered on my ears.

"Darling, this is the present of the future, it's me" - You

It totally surprised me and I was really touched. Santa's great, right now I have all the presents from the past, present & future. My happiest day ever and we were surrounded by happiness.

That night, I wasn't alone at all.

xoxo,
Felix
A short story that I would like to dedicate to my beloved dear.

Can't be seen

Age is just a number.
Gender is just a body.
Sexuality is just a label.
Distance is just miles.
Race is just a color.
Marriage is only paper.
Religion is just beliefs.
Looks are only seen.

Love? Love is love.
It is unexplainable,
but when you find it. Don’t take advantage of it.

Cherish every moment of it.

Source: Tumblr

Hugs & Kisses

I Love... (7)

I love your new hairstyle...
你把头发给剪短了，更有味道！


xoxo,
Felix

Hot Winter

Time flies, its the end of Year 2010 now.
Its damn fast! I just flashed back few things that I had done this year
And I couldn't really remember what I did.

This proves that, time is passing really fast.
Last year December, I was doing my internship in JB and living a quite monotonous life.


Last Last year's December, I was working and having LOADS of fun in America.
All these things happened just like yesterday.
Feel so close but yet so far.


This year's December,
I can say that it's optimistically fantastic.
Im back to JB for my Dad's 53 year old birthday,
We whipped up a meal and had a cozy home-cooked dinner.

Christmas is around the corner again, parties & meet ups. Yeah!
Prezziesss =) Heeheeheeheeheeheeheehee~
So happy to see all the decorations around Pavillion
Giant mistletoes, Huge Christmas trees, and White reindeer carts
Awwwww....

In order to hit the sales target, we are having a competition!!
Battle of the 2 teams in TSPV..The store is so hyped up now!
Had lots of fun during work, we are fighting over the sales and cheering for our own team.
This really boost up our energy during work!

Someone special walked into my life.
Who makes me feel that love & happiness is still around.
I really hope that, there's no obstacles or boundaries between us.
And I really want it to....last.

Its gonna be a hot winter, a hot hot winter. <3